When meeting with members of the families involved in the sale of their parents’ homes, it may be helpful to offer them some guidance about potential challenges in the interaction, which they may not be aware of or perhaps aren’t expecting.
Patience is key.
For a parent, selling a home can be both emotionally and physically challenging. Helping the family understand that this may not go at the pace they want or expect can be a valuable conversation.
It’s a time to be sensitive.
Criticism and judgment can make parents feel defensive, just as they would anyone. Coaching family members to express issues they might have in ways that sound empathetic (e.g.: “I feel concerned about how this might impact you”) rather than critical (e.g.: “You don’t know what you’re doing here”) will help the process immeasurably.
Practice calm.
Selling a home can be a big deal for anyone, but seniors may be especially edgy about this event. Reminding family members that they might need to take a breath (or two) in the process can help everyone move successfully toward the finish line.
Involve parents.
Help families appreciate that involving parents in conversations related to the sale of the parent’s home will usually make the process go more smoothly. Though that involvement may take extra time and require additional patience, it will help the result be a more positive experience for all.
Timing is everything.
Guide families to have challenging conversations on days when everyone is feeling more relaxed and secure—productive conversations rarely happen during times of stress.
Focus on benefits. When proposing solutions to challenges, families should focus on the positive aspects. For example, if assisted living is a solution, the family might emphasize the social and recreational activities of these communities.
Describe the consequences.
Sometimes, each of us becomes stuck in a view. For aging parents, that view may be that they don’t want the change or some of the changes ahead. Calmly helping them understand the challenges of not changing may become a necessary part of the conversation.
Pick your battles.
Dealing gently with aging parents on subjects such as the sale of their home may not come easily. If conflict does arise, it may be best to take a short break and resolve the issue another day.
A friend may help.
Sometimes, it can be easier to hear uncomfortable information from someone outside of the family—a close friend or neighbor of a senior parent may be just the person to involve. A little upfront coaching with family members—to hear their concerns and help them understand how best to navigate those—may be a role for you that helps the process move more smoothly